You see them all the time. Link bait lists claiming what women want in men. It’s understandable of course…lists are a great way to attract readership. Hell, I use them all the time. But these particular lists are always frustrating to see because they are always full of shit. Rich, funny, works out, trustworthy, romantic, cooks, cleans…it goes on and on. Like somehow if you possess all these boilerplate traits, you’re going to magically become more appealing to women. These lists never have any real thought or actionable direction. Sometimes these lists have claims that are made that surveys were sent out, research was done. Of course women are going to say they want all these things. Unique things are never going to surface in these articles. 30 out of 100 women are probably going to say something general like sense of humor, thus showing up in the list. But how many women will say something like one of their favorite songs is Nobody’s Fool by Kenny Loggins? 1 if you’re lucky!*
There’s only one thing anyone ever needs to be, to be more attractive to the opposite sex. Be the very best YOU that you can be. It’s exhausting trying to pretend being someone you’re not, and no matter how many new “leads” that gets you, or how long you think you can keep it up, it will always end up badly.
There’s somebody for everybody no matter what you look like, what you do, and how you do it. It’s amazing how it can take numerous relationships (successful and failed) to finally get to a point where you can truly embrace this. I’ve personally wasted so many hours thinking I needed to look like this, or be like this to have a long lasting relationship with someone I adored. You can’t be afraid to embrace what makes you you. The minute you try to be something you’re not, shit starts falling off the rails. That doesn’t mean you can’t change, or improve yourself, and it doesn’t mean you can’t stretch yourself to try new ways to live your life. But not if it’s solely motivated to try and appeal to others.
Once I figured this out, I ended up meeting someone that ended up being the one. We both led with being ourselves and not trying to mislead each other with things that weren’t authentic and real. Something that seems so common sense, yet took me that long to figure out was incredibly frustrating.
So the next time you feel compelled to click through on one of those lists, just remember it’s not real. It’s just designed to get you to click through and see those advertisements. You don’t need a list to tell you what to do. You’re already doing it. Just be patient and look a little bit harder.
*Yes, Nobody’s Fool by Kenny Loggins is one of my favorite songs. And also of my now fiance.